Sorry guys, forgot to blurb about this one...brain fart.
I need to set the record straight, I'll keep it short and sweet - I do not hate my Ex!! This task was a very emotional one, purely because I do not hold any bitterness or resentment towards my ex in any way. We ended things because we both needed to put ourselves first, to go off and find ways to fulfill ourselves. We had been on and off together since I was 16, we've been through so much together growing up, and there came a time when we felt it was more convenient to just stay together then to go our separate ways and figure things out. Suffice to say, feelings are still there, but we needed to end things to put ourselves first, and if we ended up together in the future, it would be because we were certain that's where we both wanted to be, and not due to obligation.
I didn't know how to look at this task, But I definitely knew how it looked to everyone else. I've heard of these cleansing ceremonies before, you see them in movies and TV, where crazy angry woman decide to gather up any and all items that remind them of their exes and just set it ablaze. My ex is still a part of my life, so I looked at this as being dis-respectful to him, and that's not something I was willing to do. Throughout the day I kept thinking of how other people would feel about this, him, his family and friends, and then I realized, I'm constantly living and making decisions surrounding how other people feel. And it was driving me crazy.
This task was not about my ex, or anyone for that matter other then me. This was about cleansing me and my spirit, about letting go of the past, and having a fresh start. This was not about erasing my ex from memory, because memories aren't in things. And if we were to someday decide it was worth giving it another shot, it would be a clean slate, new beginning, a time to make new memories.
Jenny and Josie came over to my place, and helped go through all of my memories for the past 7 years - there was a lot to sort through! Going through some of these things brought up some emotions, but they were things that needed to be confronted. I am one of those people that carries a lot of baggage in the sense that I always felt I needed this little mementos for absolutely ever occasion to prove how special they were, realistically, I couldn't remember half of what it was all for. Lighting the match actually felt good, it was hard, but uplifting. Its the kind of symbolism that really strikes a cord, its a new day ladies and gents, I'm only going up from here!!!
